The Way of the AlchemistThe belief underneath it all
You attract what you are. And what you are is your energy.
The Way of the Alchemist teaches that you attract what you are, and what you are is your energy, meaning the states running underneath you, like fear, control or not trusting life. Your outer world reflects your inner world, so changing the outside without changing those states tends to bring back the same pattern. Radical Awareness is how I help people change what's underneath.
How I got this wrong for years
I'd heard "you attract what you are" plenty of times. I thought it meant the outside. How I looked, how I dressed, how fit I was, how confident I seemed. So I worked on all of that.
Then it clicked that it meant my energy. On the inside I didn't trust life. I was living in survival mode, trying to control everything, with no real openness to how things might come to me. That's what I was putting out, so that's what kept coming back.
States, not circumstances
The money, the relationship or the job is where your states show up. If you only work on those, the same pattern tends to come back. When the fear, the need to control or the lack of trust dissolves, the circumstances often start to shift without much effort.
Look at the energy behind what you do
You can do exactly the right things for the wrong reasons. Two people can go to the gym, apply for jobs or go on dates. One is doing it from fear. The other is doing it because they want to. From the outside it looks the same. What comes back is often very different.
Control comes from not trusting
When I was controlling everything, it was because I didn't trust that life would work out. When you don't trust life, you try to manage how everything happens. That grip is a state too. You can see it and sit with it like any other.
The order it tends to happen in
First you accept where you are. Then you open up to how things could come. Then you dissolve what's in the way. Optimism comes after that, by itself. I didn't have to force it.
Relationships
This shows up very clearly in relationships. If you're coming from fear of being alone or fear of losing someone, you tend to end up in relationships that give you more to be afraid of. When you sit with that fear and it softens, you choose differently, and different people start to fit. I talk about this in How to STOP Manifesting Toxic Relationships FOREVER.
Questions people ask me
Does "you attract what you are" mean bad things are my fault?
No. The states running underneath you came from what you lived through, and you didn't choose them. It just means the way forward is inside you. That's good news, because it's the part you can actually work on.
Is this the law of attraction?
It's related. The law of attraction usually tells you to think positive and add more. I'm saying look at what you already are underneath, and take away what's in the way.
Does it mean I shouldn't work on my life on the outside?
No. Get fit, change jobs, do the things. Just look at the energy driving them. If it's fear or needing to prove something, you'll often level up and find the same pattern waiting for you.
What about things I can't control?
You don't have to control them. A lot of the need to control comes from not trusting life. When that softens, you can want something and stay open to how it comes.